"Yar." - A pirate

You're at a TOOL concert and the skies have been thoroughly unkind, erupting in a torrential downpour upon the entire outdoor arena where hundreds of fans wait in eager anticipation of the events to come. Suddenly, the band takes the stage to a deafening roar of applause! As the music tears through the night, one by one there can be seen a small beacon shining in the place of every soul facing the wall of brilliant sound.

It is a cell phone.

If there exists a top ten list for "Signs you work at a cell phone company," this would be about eight of them: And all at once, you feel a great disturbance in the force! It as if a million voices suddenly cried out in unison, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T REPLACE MY PHONE IT NEVER GOT WET I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU CAN'T JUST GIVE ME A NEW ONE I MEAN I NEVER DROPPED IT IN WATER OR ANYTHING WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS IT CAN'T BE WET I DON'T UNDERSTAND"

But seriously, it was fucking great. We were cold and tired and very, very, very wet, but TOOL is simply unbelievable. As a band it is difficult to comprehend the magnitude of their excellence, and every inch of it was relayed in concert. My friends...you missed a show.

And the mud moshing.

The set list, for anyone who cares, looked something like this:

Stinkfist
The Pot
Something I forget
Lost Keys
Schism
Rosetta Stoned
Lateralus
10000 Days
Vicarious
I forget this one too

Till next time!